Any film more than two hours is too long. For me, the ideal flick runs from an hour and a half to two hours. If said picture exceeds 120 minutes, I tear the movie apart and suggest to myself which scenes should have been left on the cutting room floor. Kind of like sex. At least according to new figures from sultry dating site Illicit Match.
After surveying 3,836 people, Illicit Match announced that people want sex to last for–get this–25 minutes. More specifically: 25 minutes and 51 seconds for women and 25 minutes and 43 seconds for men. Keep in mind this span accounts for intercourse only, not foreplay.
The problem here is, this figure is far from realistic. According to research from the University of Queensland, penetration only lasts 5.4 minutes on average until the man climaxes. So how the hell can men be expected to have sex for five times longer? Truth is, most can’t. So we lie and render research like this useless.
Most self-reported sex studies are suspect as people often report numbers they think will impress instead of telling the truth. Therefore, factual figures can be difficult to determine. But if you live in North America, there is reason to pat yourselves on the back. Saucy Dates found that, of all countries in the world, American men came closest to the desired duration clocking 17 minutes and five seconds, followed closely by Canadians with 17 minutes. But even still, these numbers are far from 25 minutes.
The average man in any given country comes nowhere close to this ideal duration, though there were extremely rare exceptions–the site’s data noted durations range from a minute to an hour. The website witnessed sexual duration generally increases with age, peaking in a man’s 30s and 40s, then steeply decreases. Horny 18-year-olds boasted the shortest time span.
To better understand these seemingly dubious figures, I consulted Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist, who suggests one of the main reasons women wish for longer-lasting intercourse is to forge a closer connection with their partner. On an evolutionary level, Dr. Manly explains women are wired to bond during and after sexual intimacy, whereas men mostly enjoy sex for procreation and personal satisfaction. According to the number of experts I consulted on the matter, all agree it takes a woman roughly 20 to 30 minutes to climax. Men, on the other hand, require anywhere from three to five minutes.
To assist your lady and ensure intercourse is mutually beneficial, Dr. Carla considers 20 minutes of foreplay as ideal (in reality, we average only 13 minutes), though she says quality over quantity is far more important. Then, when you’re both ready for the main event, you’re going to have to employ some techniques to reach this desired length.
Per Dr. Manly, a good way to start is by pleasing your partner first. If you know you’re quick to pull the trigger once intercourse begins, refrain from touching yourself until you feel your partner is sufficiently satisfied. “Another tried-and-true technique for delaying male orgasm is the ‘squeeze’ technique,” Dr. Manly offers. “As the sensations that accompany orgasm arise, firmly squeeze just below the head of the penis using your thumb and forefinger.” Another option is to purchase a cock ring, which delivers a similar effect at the base of the penis. Or you could stop excitatory sexual stimulation just before the edge of orgasm and after the urge to climax passes, continue with sexual activity. Thicker condoms can reduce penile sensitivity and delay orgasm as well.
Not to mention, there are products available to remedy premature ejaculation–don’t be ashamed, fellas, one in three men experiences PE at some point in their lives. If the idea interests you, try Promescent Spray, an FDA-approved, over-the-counter desensitizing product that acts as a “cheat code for your penis.” The product is recommended by urologists across the nation, and I’ve personally used the stuff for solo masturbation and it’s great, not that you asked.
Most importantly, if for any reason you feel like less of a man if you can’t commit to 25 minutes of relentless penetration, don’t. Realistically, nobody can, and those who claim they can are probably liars and cause their partner discomfort with too much friction. What you need to do is make sure your lady is pleased, and this can be done with quality foreplay. Stimulate the clitoris, massage her erogenous zones, and, when she lets you know she’s ready, ready yourself for penetration. When you sense you may climax too early, utilize one or all of the techniques provided here and show your penis who’s boss.